What's doubly awesome is that Harrison then shows Microsoft's complete disdain and lack of concern for the hordes of consumers they are fucking over, stating that this approach to second-hand gaming is "consistent with the way the world works." Gee, that callous and offhand sentiment reminds me of something... Oh yeah, #DealWithIt
Seriously guys, can we just take a minute to bask in the comedic glory of how shambolic this reveal and Microsoft's attempt at damage control is?
*UPDATE* - Microsoft VP Phil Harrison has all but confirmed that Xbox One will require regular signing in to Xbox Live or play will be cut. In this interview with Kotaku we can see the following exchange:
Kotaku:
If I’m playing a single player game, do I have to be online at least
once per hour or something like that? Or can I go weeks and weeks?
Harrison: I believe it’s 24 hours.
Kotaku: I’d have to connect online once every day.
Harrison: Correct.
Yes, in addition to monitoring your heartbeat and facial expressions, the Xbox requires that you check in with Microsoft once a day. What next, do I need to ask Bill Gates for permission to have a fucking wank?
******
Yes, after months of speculation about the successor to one of the games console world's greatest success stories (no, not the chronically underrated Dreamcast, the Xbox 360 you stupid prick) has finally been unveiled in a flurry of flashy corporate noise in a similar fashion to the PS4 unveiling earlier this year.
As with most of these big press events, there was much talk of "innovation" and "revolution" but has the Xbox One got a Catholic at an Orange Walk's chance of meeting these expectations? Well, in the humble opinion of this cock-nose, no it does not. But we'll get to why in a second. Before that, I want to briefly talk about the specs for this machine. With a bespoke Microsoft 8-Core CPU and 8Gb of RAM, the Xbox One will be no slouch and should be able to deliver on the tantalising glimpse of stunning graphical power showcased in the short demo for Call of Duty: Ghosts. In addition, the Xbox One sports a 500Gb Hard drive (and it's a fucking good thing too, read on to find out why) and a blu-ray optical disc drive, bringing it roughly in line with a strong mid-range gaming PC worth a good few bob. These are all meaty specs, nothing to differentiate it from the PS4 in all honsety, but strong hardware nonetheless.
So with such solid hardware, why am I reluctant to gift much praise to the Xbox One? Well, as is the way with Microsoft these days, the machine seems to be engaged in a mad scramble to do everything at once, instead of focussing on being a kickass piece of gaming technology (which is very much how Sony seem to be marketing their contender). There was little talk today of gaming capabilities and instead a lot of focus on secondary entertainment such as television and social networking (which the current gen is pretty much already doing well enough, thanks!) with vague promises about "revolutionising" the TV experience, basically through talking about a proposed Halo TV series. It all felt lazy and certainly not "innovative" in any fashion. The most innovative thing on offer was motion and voice control of the TV apps through an "improved" Kinect (since I utterly despise Kinect and other such silly peripherals, I feel they could only be improved through fastidious application of explosives). Yes, because when I turn on my 360 I think; "hmm, this is OK but I'd much rather be talking to a black box and flailing my arms about like a beached trout."
So no, the Xbox One did not deliver on its promised revolutionary capabilities.
Okay, okay. We've all gathered I don't like the highlighting of television, social media and silly secondary peripherals over actual games but surely, I hear you cry, there must have been something in terms of traditional gaming to satisfy you? Weeeeelllll no. You see, in an article for wired (which I will link in at the bottom) it is revealed that the Xbox's gaming functions will severely curtail the use of preowned games (thus likely delivering a death blow for actual games shops), requiring you to register a game to your specific Xbox Live account. This means that Xbox Live is all but mandatory on this console, and that's bad news for those of you like me who just want to BUY A GAME, STICK IT IN THE FUCKING MACHINE THAT YOU PAID FOR AND PLAY IT TO FORGET YOUR SHITTY LIIIIIIIIIFFFFEEEE!!!! FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!!!
*ahem*
Went all Nic Cage there, sorry. But yes, in addition, this anti-preowned DRM *does* allow you to buy a second-hand game, provided you are OK with logging into Xbox fucking Live and paying Microsoft a fee for the privilege of using their console that you paid for to play a preowned game. Now isn't that the money-grabbing Microsoft we all know and love!?! Oh, and that Hard-drive I said you'd need? All indication is that games must mandatorily be installed to the hard drive. Yep. Am I playing a games console that I FUCKING BOOOOOOUUUUUGHT or am I living in FUCKING NORTH KOREA!?! Yeah, okay. The plight of the North Korean people *might* be worse than Microsoft douchebaggery. *Might.*
But all that has gone before is nothing compared to the fucking troll-turd that MS just dumped on our chest like we're in a weird porno. You see, there was a bit of a furore about always-online DRM on the Xbox One before the unveiling and, though this feature turned out not to be built into the console, Microsoft are allowing individual developers to farm off processing burdens onto their "Azure" cloud servers. This means that any game using the Azure service will require a broadband connection to run. So you can buy a game without requiring an internet connection but it's likely that, as Devs begin to create more technically demanding games, you're going to need to connect to play them. This always-online DRM through the back door approach leaves a bitter taste in the mouth and is by FAR the thing that has most led me to consider buying my first Playstation console this year. Y'see, although PS4 hyped up its ability to share gameplay footage and scores with other players online, Sony bigwig Shuhei Yoshida denied the existence of a PS4 always-online requirement, stating "Oh yes, yes, you can go offline totally. Social is big for us, but we understand there are some people who are anti-social! So if you don't want to connect to anyone else, you can do that."
A-fuckin'-men, says this antisocial bastard.
Of course, Xbox One has intriguing features such as 15 exclusive titles (including 8 brand new IPs) and I'll be waiting until E3 to make up my mind, but thus far the ball is very much in Sony's court as far as I'm concerned. And I'm sure most people who buy a console for a dedicated gaming experience will agree with me.
That Wired.Com link: http://www.wired.com/gamelife/2013/05/xbox-one-analysis/
That Gamer Bastard
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